Walter lived across the driveway and had always been a nice neighbor. He was 78 years old at the time and has half of his right arm missing from when he was in the Korean War. I live in the first floor apartment and and an older couple live upstairs. Last year the lady upstairs mentioned to me that I should be careful to keep my windows covered because she saw Walter peeking into my windows at night a few times. I never gave much thought about anyone spying on me, especially Walter because he seems to be a fragile old man. After the lady told me that I began to realize how careless I was as far as having all my windows closed and covered. The way my apartment is situated would make it difficult for anyone to come on to the property, except for Walter. If this lady was right I was sure he had seen me naked since I never had my bedroom and bathroom windows covered completely. I get home from work about 6 everynight and began looking out in the driveway once it got dark. It was two nights later that I saw Walter walking out his back door and over to my side of the driveway. I had the lights out in my living room and he first went to my bedroom window and then the bathroom window peeking into both. My first thought was what a dirty old man he was and I sat there there for almost an hour and still just kept looking in. I knew then that he had to have seen me naked and I have no idea how long he has been doing it. The more I thought about it I began to think of everything he must have seen me doing. Seeing me naked is one thing but I do masturbate often and he most certainly witnessed that and has more than likely watched me going to the bathroom and shaving myself. Then it also occurred to me that he probably watched my boyfriend and I having sex. I honestly never thought about anyone looking in at me and I became furious. I went out the back door and confronted him at first asking what he was doing at my windows. It was so dark out I didn’t notice at first but all he had on was a t-shirt and was naked from the waiste down but wearing slippers. He lied telling me he walks in his sleep and hide his penis with his one hand. He kept telling me how sorry he was and I called him a few bad names. The crazy thing is after he went back in his house I felt bad at hollaring at him and did still like him. I made sure my windows were all covered after that. This all happened a year and a half ago and even though He later admitted to peeking in at me for a long time I did forgive him and continued being friendly with him. Last week Walter died and as much as I knew what he was doing I attened his funeral and miss him.

I’ve been with him for almost 10 years. We have a son. we’ve been through everything you could imagine you could go through in a relationship and a marriage. Everything. Every single thing… cheating, lying, mistrust, physical abuse mental abuse, and police and arrests have been made. We resent each other…but we can’t let go. Neither of us can…
We’ve tried even. Tried to move on, not speak for months, having other relationships, we always had each other in our hearts. It seems I can’t stop looking for love and acceptance in other people…. I feel like a horrible person because I always accuse him of cheating, when I’m the one who thinks about doing it. Today I even gave my number to the cable guy because he had mentioned to my dad’s boss that I was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. Woman, he didn’t call me a girl. I don’t want to look for comfort in other men…but I don’t get it from him anymore…
I needed to tell anyone.

I’ve never been thin… not really or… at least not when i look at myself. my mother has always been cruel to me, telling me how i need to lose weight. i grew up in a ballet studio which is a breeding ground for these issues. my friends were all so much thinner than i was… i mean… i guess i’ve never actually been fat, but i’ve never been the size i want to be. so when i was in high school i quit eating. i would go so long without eating that when i finally did it hurt my teeth. and i ended up being normal sized. then i got to college and i started dating a guy who got me really involved in drugs…. which often made eating impossible and unwanted, anyway. i wore loose fitting black clothes because that’s the kind of guy he was and when i finally broke up with him, i looked amazing. and i’ve seen pictures of me from then and all i think is, man, i wish i could still look like that. once i was off the drugs, my restrictive eating habits began again, concealed, until i started dating my next boyfriend who made me extremely happy. the bad thing was that we would eat out. every. day. and we drank liquor, beer, and malt. every. day. so i gained a lot of weight. when he dumped me i had a really hard time coping with my weight. a lot of it just fell off because i was no longer eating all of that shit, but i was still not as small as i wanted to be. like always. and then this past december a friend of mine drunkenly made a huge mistake and taught me something i’d never been able to achieve before in my life: making myself throw up. it took me a long time to be able to do it right and i used to only do it when i drank alcohol (which was once or twice a week), but now i make myself throw up at least once a day…
and i’d like to say that i want to stop, but i don’t… it’s getting me results like i’ve never had… i’ve dropped probably 13 pounds in 2 weeks just from that when i was very athletic growing up and never ate out like other kids and was still not an “acceptable” size. so, no, i don’t want to stop until i’m small enough that i can transition into being healthy, but i guess i’m scared. i’m scared someone will find out how far i’ve gone… my boyfriend now, who loves me and thinks i’m sexy no matter what… this would break his heart. my parents… they’ve got enough going on that this would just be.. something else to get mad over. my friends…
and i’m scared i won’t be able to stop. and i don’t necessarily think i need therapy or rehab because i know what my trigger for a… relapse, i guess, was. my life is rapidly changing. i graduate this may and move back home. my dad lost his job. and (i know this sounds so stupid, but) my friends at home are so thin…. like… i just don’t think i could handle being the fat friend again. i know it’s about control, but it’s also about really just wanting to look in the mirror and finally see myself as beautiful…
and another reason i don’t want to get help or whatever is because no one has ever answered my plea for help before… no one has ever believed that i’ve done these things because i never actually looked emaciated, only healthy, but i know i wasn’t. i was eating a 450 calorie a day diet, drinking gatorade to keep my heart from stopping, exercising all the time, cutting. and no one buys it. i’m not sure why… i guess because of the aforementioned reason and also because if i were someone else, i probably wouldn’t be able to see me as having an eating disorder. i’m a very bubbly, sarcastic, jokey kind of person… and people that know me know that i don’t like to lie…. but i am lying now. every day. and i feel like i have it under control right now, but i know it’s a slippery slope.
and the shame and certainty of disbelief at the receipt of this knowledge keep me from telling anyone…. ever. at all.

and i feel lost
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Im in love with my co-worker, actually I’m her boss. My chest hurts every time I see her face. I just wish I could touch her just once. Oh and I have been having an affair with a former co-worker who is married. She use to give me the best deep throat blowjobs in my office. She would suck till I busted my load then she would swallow. We have been dating for almost six years now and when I sleep with her I go home and bang my wife right after. The whole time I’m thinking of my crush. I hate myself.

I am ashamed of myself but again this past weekend spent Saturday night at Crissy’s apartment which I have been doing often over the last year. My husband doesn’t mind and stays at home with the kids not knowing I am having sex with her. I’m 40 and have been married for 16 years and have three children. I know Crissy from work and the first time I had sex with her I was drinking and smoking some weed. I do love my husband and we do have good sex but over the years it has diminished. I didn’t know Crissy was bisexual when I first got friendly with her. She is 32 and has introduced me to a whole new sexual experience. I was shy about it in the beginning but now am every bit a bisexual as she is. Until I met her I never experienced any type of sex toy. I did masturbate as a young girl but never used anything except my fingers. Crissy has introduced me to many types of dildos and vibrators since our relationship started and I can’t wait until the next time we are together. My husband thinks we go to bingo or go bowling but we have sex and play with each other until the wee hours of the morning. Its starts with making out and just touching each other intimately and we have oral sex more than once each time. I never considered the stimulation a vibrator can bring on and have never had anything penitrate my rectum before. I have never had anal sex with my husband but allow Crissy to insert dildos and vibrators both in my vagina and rectum. We use a strap on with each other and until I met Crissy I never thought of something like that bringing me to climax. We even shower together which I havn’t done with my husband for many years. I still enjoy sex with my husband but this is completely different. Even the oral sex Crissy and I perform on each other is much more satisfying then when my husband does it. I’m always home early Sunday morning and am sure my husband doesn’t suspect anything. Crissy does have a boyfriend who my husband met a number of times and we went to dinner with Crissy and her boyfriend twice since New Years. I feel terrible about it because my husband is so good to me but I’m not willing to stop seeing Crissy whenever possible. I don’t think I ever thought about having sex with another woman. Another thing we do is talk and laugh about some of the sex we have with our men. I tell her how my husband likes me to masturbate him and she says her boyfriend likes her to give him oral sex all the time. We often talk about how quick they are satified sometimes while Crissy and I make love for hours at a time. I thought about introducing my huisband to some sex toys and even thought about him having anal sex with me. I haven’t and don’t want him to become suspicious about Crissy and my friendship. I know he would never except the fact that I was having sex with her.

I should be concerned about pregnancy, or getting a STD, but I just keep on putting it in bare, and the ladies just keep letting me. I keep on dirty talking them about how hard my cock is getting inside of them, and how much they are trying to get me to come, pulsating their pussy like a tease. Quite a few of them want me to nutt inside of them, too…begging me to drop my payload. I don’t do that with the new ones (when in doubt, pull it out), but the ones I’ve known for a while, I let loose and fill it up. I get off mentally on that. These aren’t ugly women, either. I have not been slapped with a paternity suit. I’m almost tempted to go see a urologist, to see if I’m shooting blanks. Only thing I ever got from sex was a UTI. I urinate after sex, and keep my penis very clean.

Let me start out by saying I was wicked drunk the other night when I attempted this. So I’ve never been successful with the ladies to say the least, I’m 28 and I can count the number of girlfriends as well as how many “sexual” encounters I’ve had on one hand. A lot of my situation is due to the fact that I suffer from anticipatory anxiety. Basically this means I become extremely nervous ahead of time about being in certain situations or coming into contact with certain people, object, places etc. This causes me to be quite a bit of a “shut-in”. I work from home, have my groceries delivered, play a lot of W.O.W. and of course watch a TON of porn. Now anyone who jacks off as much as me knows it gets harder and harder to find videos that can still get you going enough to blow your load so I don’t know if it was because of that or because I was about a half a bottle of tequila deep, but I just couldn’t cum. Now usually if I’m even buzzed “the stranger” works in no time flat… no luck though! At this point I’m trying think of anything else I could give a try and then I start to wonder, “if I try hard enough could I give myself a blowjob?” Then I started to convince myself I probably could considering I’m very flexible (I do a lot of yoga and pilates videos) next thing I know I’m bending over as hard as I can to attempt to suck my own dick. I got close but sitting up was just too awkward a position so I laid down on the floor in front of my couch and lifted my ass & back up the couch like if I was trying to give myself a money shot and cum in my own face. I tried pulling down on my ass towards my mouth but the closest I could get was barely the head once and licking the tip. Has anyone else out there tried this or even been successful in doing so…or is this just another thing to add to my shameful “weirdo hermit status”?

I was diagnosed as HIV positive a little over a year ago and I still live my life as if I never got tested. No one knows except my doctor and I. I travel with my sales job 1 week out of every month and I still have unprotected sex with random girls from the clubs in random cities across the U.S. I put the number of girls at about 10 and I NEVER give them my real name. I usually get head from them too.

I pee in the shower and I’m a habitual offender. I also jizzed in my roommate’s face wash because I’m secretly in love with her. I’ve jacked in her food a few times as well. I have rubbed my dick on pretty much everything she touches. I stole pair of her panties out of the bin that I keep for masturbation.

One day Jessica, one day…

A heard of folks gathered at my wife’s parents for Easter yesterday. Everyone was hanging out in the garage and patio as we were going to eat outside. I went in to get a drink and MIL was cooking in the kitchen alone. I went up to give her an innocent hug and just kept hugging while I drank my tea. I dont know why or what happened but as I have one arm around her the sideways hug turns into a front hug and she just kept squeezing me and rubbing my back with her head in my chest and we were making small talk. I had on a teeshirt and gym shorts and my cock started to plump up from the pressure. It wasnt because she was turning me on or anything just one of those things that happen. So I put the drink on the counter and started hugging her with both arms and my cock is still pointed down but still getting thick and swelling and I know she feels it. I have no idea why but I sort of got a kick out of this and pressed it into her. The small talk stops completely and she starts breathing a little fast and I squeeze her harder against me.
She presses against it and her hands go down as she hugs me around the top of my ass. She whispered that I looked good in my blue tee shirt that it brought out my eyes. I said “yeah you like they way I look today huh?” and she said “yes”.
I really didnt know where this was going or what I wanted to happen but fucking around with her I said “what about my shorts?” and pulled back a bit. She looked down at my shorts and as she moved away my dick rose straight out towards her and was very obvious. It was almost cartoonish the way it was tenting. She said “Hmmm” and I think she really didnt know what to make of it. I pulled my shirt up so she could see the top of my shorts and my stomach and she said “Yes you look good in these shorts too.” I said “Yeah but I need to get myself situated before I go back out.” Then feeling prevy and getting a kick out of seeing her like this I pulled my shorts and boxers out extra far so she could look down inside and I reached in and moved my cock up so the shorts werent holding it down. I let them go and the top of my cock was sticking out of the waistband. She made a weird “hmmmm uhhh ohhhh” noise and wrapped her arms around me and said “give me one more hug then and get back out there.” She squeezed me tight and since I am 6’5″ my now rock hard cock was right at the top of her stomach. She pressed against me hard then let go and said “ok go go go.”
My heart was racing and my breathing was fast. I was excited but more from just knowing that she saw my cock and knew I had a hardon than from wanting to actually do anything. I am a longtime perv but never anything like this. I said “I cant go yet why dont you give me one more hug in your bathroom then I’ll go out.” She just stood there and didnt say anything and I had a bried moment of panic thinking I went too far. She didnt look at me at all just turned and walked to her bedroom and right into the bathroom. I followed behind her and shut the door and locked it. She said really quiet like a forced whisper “ok ok one fast hug then you have to go I mean it.” So again she wraps her arms around me and starts to hug but I pull my shirt up and with my left hand and put her face into my chest. My cock is now throbbing like crazy and still sticking up out of my shorts. So her arms are right on my bare back and she smells and puts her lips on my chest but doesnt really kiss me. She said “You smell good today” and looks down at my dick. I tell her “I taste good too.” She then kissed my chest and I decided fuck it I’m going for it. With my right hand I pull my shorts down so my full cock and balls are exposed. She kissed my chest and down a bit and I take her left hand and put it on my dick and she lightly rubs it and my balls. I said “do it” and push her down so she sits on the side of her bathtub and started sucking my cock slowly. While she kissed and sucked the head she wrapped her hand around the shaft and balls. It was weird as fuck watching her do this. She has fake nails and the short heavily sprayed older lady hair. So although she is thin and isnt a bad looking lady she is 25 years old than me and Ive never thought about doing her ever. I reach down and slide my hand in her shirt and bra and rub a tit. Its soft but her nip got very hard and she moaned while sucking faster. She never once looked up at me though. I guess that would have been way too much and I honestly didnt care at the time. It was surreal and exciting at the same time. It took only a few minutes to orgasm and I told her I was ready and she kept going. I shot a load in her mouth and she kept going slowly for a bit but I was too sensitive and made her stop.
She then stood up and went to the sink and got some water. She washed her mouth out with the water and mouthwash and started puttin lipstick on and touching her hair up. She was looking at herself in the mirror and humming and turned to me while I was standing there panting and said “You better get cleaned up and get back out there before they miss you” and she left. I couldnt believe it. I still cant believe it. I can honestly say if she was naked or tried to kiss me I probably wouldnt have been able to get it up. Im sure I couldnt get it up to stick it in. Easter dinner and hiding eggs and all that was as normal as ever and I was even alone with her once more bringing food and stuff inside and she never mentioned it. Fucking crazy.