This is even hard to confess anonymously. I am a 46 yr. old male, married to my high school sweetheart for 27 yrs. and have 4 great kids, ages 17, 14 & 10. And I have an $80 a day cocaine habit. I work for a fortune 500 company and make very good money. My job requires me to go to Las Vegas and L.A. about once a month where my cocaine use turns into about $125+ a day, and over the last 6 months my trips have also turned into rampant sex with prostitutes and extreme binge drinking. Each trip I tell myself it’s going to be different and I’m going to control myself but as soon as I get there it’s like something takes control. Even while i’m in the midst of spiraling out of control I try to tell myself “just stop!” but I never do. It has grown increasingly hard to hide all of this from my friends and family. My wife grows more and more worried and suspicious each time I come back from out of town, and my kids are all getting to the age that they are probably starting to tell something is up as well. My biggest fear is that they will have to come out to identify my body some day, but even that does not sway my behavior.