One time at a house party when I was in high school, I finally got up enough courage (the “liquid” kind) to talk to this girl I had had a bit of a crush on since jr. high. Things were going great and conversation was really starting to flow when this douche bag I had known since childhood stumbled up wasted and totally cock-blocked me! He was “that guy” in school, had the rich family, the good looks, etc. so needless to say he got the girl. They eventually ended up spooning in one of the bedrooms and since I couldn’t kick his ass I decided to humiliate him. I pounded beers till my bladder was ready to burst. Then I snuck into the room and pissed all over him, his crotch & the bed they were in. The next morning she came out soaked in piss and screaming at super tool, it was hilarious!! To make it even better EVERYONE knew about Monday at school and I found out later that week that he ended up having to buy a new mattress too.